ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
