he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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