I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my liver is dry heaving
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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