So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
