That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
