one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
