Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
smell my finger.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
