Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
