i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
