wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
