I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
