so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
