I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
