do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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