Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
