I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
