Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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