all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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