he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
