I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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