She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
