my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
