Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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