She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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