I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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