Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
