i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
