if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
