You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
