Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
