he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
