The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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