But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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