why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
