DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
this hospital has no fireball
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
