i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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