Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
