I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
