haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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