If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
