just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She bit a glass in half.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
