I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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