I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
