i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
