last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think your dad took our porno
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
