You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
