Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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