Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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