I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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