im holly from the hills drunk
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
