I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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